国外也有段子手,抽签也有大学问

Sterling进球,曼彻斯特城3-1伯恩茅斯俱乐部

Slaintbius:如若曼彻斯特城俱乐部的较量都能被说踢得无聊,那笔者都不明了曼彻斯特联足球俱乐部的竞技还是可以用什么修辞手法来形容了…(If City way of play is boring, I have no idea what you guys describe Man United games then.State of Qatar

SlowMobius7:能不无聊啊,其余6强都盼着Manchester City F.C.小败,结果她就特么一贯赢赢赢!(It's boring to the other top 6 fans because they tune in hoping for an upset and it never happens.卡塔尔国

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好了,亲爱的小同伙们,本期的“外国也许有段子手”就为大家播报到那了,让大家静观其变,来看上一期歪果仁们越来越优越的洗礼作弄吧!

Haoqing对决,温得和克3-0曼城俱乐部

Great-Band-Name:看着张伯伦在高雄的进球,就象是在看从不愿和你上床的前女票在和新欢拍的性爱录像带同样…(When you see goal of Ox , it just feels like to see a sex tape of your ex who never did that with you.卡塔尔

AleArdu_:曼城俱乐部,你永恒不会独行!(City you will never walk alone.卡塔尔

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RVP_20_ :尤文和哈特福德的后防线是或不是沟通灵魂了…(Juve transferred their defense with Liverpool.卡塔尔(قطر‎

goldengirl_7:嘿嘿,奥Hus正是Manchester City F.C.那赛季遇到的最硬打击吧!(Lol Liverpool have been the biggest cock to City this season.卡塔尔

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ChipAyten:大器晚成旦每场竞技都踢曼彻斯特城就好了,那样卧铺不早已争冠了呢?(If the schedule was City 38 times a season we'd be champs already.卡塔尔(قطر‎

ethanicles7:小编看Sanne的展现依旧不易的,由他拦住下的曼彻斯特城的出击,可Billy物浦后卫Lovren和范戴克加起来都多!(I'm almost positive that Sané managed to stop more City attacks than Van Dijk and Lovren combined.State of Qatar

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PreJuryFlop:曼城俱乐部还还未造出来大巴吗?(Did Man City even make it off their Bus?State of Qatar

Kaklefrosk:见到Salah受到损伤时,Egypt举国一致都陷入了火急状态,风流罗曼蒂克辆救护车都从开罗开到新山了!(阿拉伯Egypt共和国must be in total emergency status right now, ambulances driving from Cairo to Liverpool when 穆罕默德·Salah got injured.

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打破出线,Tottenham Hotspur Football Club主场1-1巴萨

The-Zoro:唉,我们和热刺相遇在欧联杯决赛不相当好的嘛…(A Spurs vs us Europa League final sounds good tbh卡塔尔国

RTafazolli1:巴萨须要尽快买苏牙的传人了,穆Neil根本不是那块料!其实小编看Kane倒是挺合适的…(Barcelona need to buy a good backup to 苏亚雷斯, 穆Neil is nowhere near the level required for Barcelona. Maybe 凯恩 is good choice.卡塔尔国

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alx69:前些天沟壍之夜圈里的人都专入室弟子气,二个ID为Ous德姆be97的高玩缺席了生机勃勃把注重的大逃杀,原因居然是仪容不整地踢足球去了!(Fortnite community outraged as star gamer OusDembe97 misses a crucial Battle Royale because he was distracted by playing football yesterday.State of Qatar

Dawnsday:为了能不要压力地多玩玩FM,Dembele决定下一次演出帽子戏法…(dembele decided he's going to score a hattrick so he can go play football manager with no stress.卡塔尔

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MushroomBot:本人是Dembele,笔者不练习,不睡觉,不守规矩,但自己清楚,我真香!(THIS is Dembele, no training, no sleep, no discipline but when he gets it it's done.State of Qatar

Envague:实在呢,不是登贝莱演练来晚了,而是她参加比赛来早了…(Turns out Dembele didn't show up late to practice, he arrived early for the game.卡塔尔国

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ModricTHFC:没悟出居然有那般一天,Messi枯坐替代人员席1个多时辰来看Sissoko踢球…(The day Messi sat at 坎普 Nou and watched Sissoko for an hour.State of Qatar

wrdb2007:真希望Messi能多读书Sissoko的招数啊!(霍普fully he learnt a thing or two from him.卡塔尔

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Neo_corner:此间照旧London城唯风姿洒脱能来看欧洲亚军联赛的地点!可是能看欧联的地点倒是有俩。(The only place to watch the champions league in London! But two places to watch Europe League.)

thesilentGinlasagna:前些天在TNT直播演说这一场竞技的,竟然是斯蒂芬-Nash?(is Steve Nash commentating in TNT?卡塔尔

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联赛三轮车不胜,巴萨1-1毕尔巴鄂比赛足球俱乐部

Arsenictue:在皇家马德里俱乐部的竞技没踢完在此以前,笔者依旧别在巴萨商议区说话了…(I prefer not to speak here till our match is done too.卡塔尔国

Harkoncito:你们怎能把亚军的压力推给我们吧?那大家必定也是平手啊!(How dare you put this kind of pressure on us, we are also a draw absolutely!)

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jon_stewrt:Messi是巴萨唯生龙活虎能找到幸运美人的人,然后再把美丽的女人翻个身,打他的屁屁...(Messiis the only player who could find lady luck, turn her around and give her a spanking.卡塔尔(قطر‎

cvaldo99:假诺几时Messi不在了,真不知道会时有产生哪些…(One day Messiwon’t be here. Idk what will happen then.卡塔尔国

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cha54mi:假使Rakitic是为毕包踢球的话,那必然正是场上最棒!你看她具有的球都传给毕包球员了!(If rakitic was playing with a bilbao shirt he would be their motm . Literally his passes all were to athletic players.卡塔尔(قطر‎

yarikhh:胡说什么吗?明明Pique才是毕包的精品球员!(You fool, it must be Pique to win MOTM for bilbao卡塔尔国

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K503:本人有一点忧虑苏牙会不会伤到门将了,这么多射门就直接踢人家身上…(I'm worried about goalkeepers being injured by Suarez. So many have been hit by Suarez shots.卡塔尔

HomelessGunner:是啊,就算你站着不动,苏牙也会主动射你身上的…(Yeah, he will directly shoot the ball to you even you stand still.卡塔尔国

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frogieboie1:别顾忌,我们长久陪着您~(Don’t worry. we are right there with ya ;)

Kold_Blooded_Killer:如上所述大家不是唯风姿浪漫想要自寻短见的看球的观者了…(Well at least we aren't the only suicidal fans here.卡塔尔(قطر‎

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出线关键战,热刺1-0国米

In_Panopticon:是否因为上一赛季要用VAHighlander了,所以底线评判就疯狂刷虚荣感来表明自个儿的市场股票总值了…(the line judge was like they have var next season i need to prove my worth.卡塔尔国

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Sjekky:Tottenham Hotspur Football ClubUEFA Champions League开局踢成这么,假诺最终仍然是能够出线,那也太酸爽了吧…(Fair fucks to Tottenham if they make it out this group after the start they had.卡塔尔(قطر‎

Princessfinn:现行反革命奥胡斯是要变为唯后生可畏三个从欧洲亚军联赛掉下去的英国超级联赛球队啦?(If liverpool the only english team dropping into the el.卡塔尔国

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小同伙们大家好,接待来到周周的“海外也可能有段子手”!下一周的欧洲赛管精粹看点不可胜数,利马索尔狂胜了与曼彻斯特城足球俱乐部的UEFA Champions League主题对决,皇家马德里俱乐部、巴萨和拜仁拉各斯足球俱乐部也混乱得到先机。星期天的联赛比赛地方,FC Bayern Munich提前6轮锁定亚军,曼彻斯特联足球俱乐部阻击了曼彻斯特城俱乐部提前夺冠的脚步,巴萨、阿森纳足球俱乐部等队纷繁完胜,而皇家马德里足球俱乐部、马竞俱乐部、Chelsea等球队则得到平局。好了,话相当少说,让我们快来看看歪果仁们的非凡作弄吧!

起伏,FC Bayern Munich3-3阿贾克斯

DutchPhenom:好啊,笔者决定洗一个小时的冷水澡来浇灭这销路好的刺激…(Alright, I'm going to take an hour-long cold shower in the hope I can get to a normal temperature.卡塔尔

Rooonaldooo99:本身就眨了须臾间眼,结果竟然错失了3个球?(I blinked and missed 3 goals.卡塔尔国

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Iftair:3个刻钟后自身就期末考试了,可本人选拔看了这场交锋,相对不后悔!(I have a final exam in 3 hrs and I watched this game. No regrets.卡塔尔(قطر‎

Iftair:嗬,现在自个儿有一些后悔了…(Well…now I regret a little bit.卡塔尔

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同伙们大家好,接待来到周周的“海外也可能有段子手”!下一周的南美洲比赛场上党参粹看点不可计数:Chelsea与温得和克化干戈为玉帛,曼联俱乐部输给西汉姆联俱乐部,而阿森纳足球俱乐部和曼彻斯特城足球俱乐部则必胜大胜。La Liga比赛场地,巴萨战平毕包,三番两次三轮车不胜;而皇马俱乐部则与Atlético Madrid互交白卷,再度错过登上尖峰良机。好了,话超级少说,让大家快来看看歪果仁们的可观戏弄吧!

得手大捷,皇家马德里俱乐部2-0瓦伦西亚

C4BackpackerIQ:好久没见到皇家马德里那样比赛了哟,魔笛那传球简直好似小爱情动作片相似爽…(Omg i havent seen real playing like this for a while that first cross was pure sex from modric卡塔尔

KarmaGrinder94:瓦伦西亚后卫应该让Benzema去拿球的…(valencia should have let the ball reach Benzema.卡塔尔

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遥遥超越三个球被转败为胜,曼彻斯特城足球俱乐部2-3曼彻斯特联俱乐部

KK-Chocobo:是或不是弗国公爷在中场停息的时候,跑到卫生间里去踢曼彻斯特联俱乐部球员的屁股了?(Did 亚历克斯 Furguson go into the changing room and kick butt at half time?卡塔尔国

vicote91:这场竞赛,曼彻斯特城足球俱乐部的显现只然则是风流倜傥支烧石脑油的Crystal Palace F.C.而已…(I think this match City are basically just an oil-powered Crystal Palace.卡塔尔

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Kreygasm2233:纵然曼彻斯特城在接下去的比赛里都不胜球了怎么做…(What if they never win again?卡塔尔国

Easily_Baked:随时要输这么惨,穆帅一定是在中场歇息时承诺球员们假设胜球就去请客做最高档的染发!(Thought we lost at HT but Jose must have promised the lads a proper SAF hairdryer treatment during the break.State of Qatar

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four_four_three:Bogba开启了染发的超本领情势!(Pogba ACTIVATED THE HAIMurano'S SPECIAL POWEEscortS.卡塔尔(قطر‎

EmergencyCredit:那早晚是获取了一级赛亚人的真传!(it was inspired by the Super Saiyan transformation...卡塔尔

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AzarPedro进球,切尔西2-1Brighton & Hove Albion F.C.

maverick1905:具备Azar,是我们最周围具备梅西的事务了…(Hazard is the closest thing we will ever have to Messi playing in Chelsea.卡塔尔

AdenintheGlaven:小编再也不想看90分钟Azar吊打大家了!(Not sure I want to spend another 90 minutes watching Hazard dick us.State of Qatar

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Pedro奇克进球,Chelsea2-0富勒姆足球俱乐部

3V3RT0N:那是自个儿能看出穿棕色类球衣的球队折桂德比的最佳时机了…(My biggest chance of seeing a blue team winning a derby today.卡塔尔

Why_dont_Men_Cry:谁给作者解释下,为何Alonso猛然就不会踢球了?(Can somebody tell me why Alonso forgot how to play football?State of Qatar

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转败为胜克性格很顽强在劳累劳累或巨大压力面前不屈,FC Bayern Munich2-1塞Willy亚

BESTNBAGOAT:到目前本身也难以相信,蒙特拉竟然在引导踢欧洲季军联赛1/4决赛…(I can't believe Vincenzo Montella is playing quarter final in Champions League.卡塔尔国

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PineappleExpress98:每趟看塞Willy亚竞赛的时候,那表现也疑似个强队,但怎么球队前锋的临门大器晚成脚总是如此坑爹呢?(Every time I watch Sevilla play they look like a top team until they have to take their chances. It's weird that almost every player on that team can't finish for the life of them.State of Qatar

dedem13:是啊,小编看阿森纳足球俱乐部竞赛的时候也是这么想的!(Yeah, it’s the same as what I thought watching Arsenal’s game.卡塔尔

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SerieAnalyst:你们怎么不提进乌龙球的事啊…(how did you manage not to mention the own goal?卡塔尔(قطر‎

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小败仍头名现身,尤文1-2布尔萨年轻人

BrutalHumbug13:老外祖母人紧逼不比前,被小兄弟轻易拆穿!(Young Boys penetrate Old Lady as she lost tight defenses.卡塔尔国

Lerkot:青少年把老妇人摁着摩擦,最终双方还都挺欢跃,那纯属是真爱啊!(Young Boys fucking the old lady and everyone happy in the end. True love.卡塔尔

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Coko1911:Real Madrid Club de Fútbol:“我们的B队被人吊着打了…”尤文:“干杯老铁!大家的…A 队被人吊着打了…”(Real: Our B team is disgrace Juve: Hold my bear ... gets embarrassed with A team.State of Qatar

Oatzeel:要不是Jones的乌龙,曼彻斯特联足球俱乐部以至还能够得个小组头名…(Man u could have finished top of their group if it weren't for Phil Jones' deft finish.卡塔尔

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互交白卷,皇家马德里足球俱乐部0-0马德里竞赛俱乐部

Xthecreator:别泄气啊,我们假装皇三宝太监巴萨都赢了不就得了!(Never mind, let’s just pretend we and Barcelona both won the match.卡塔尔国

Hamozus:几天前凌晨作者对巴萨的计谋进行了周全的分析,现在本人早就想到新纽带了,咱也得在下全场让Messi出场才行!(I have carefully analyzed Barca's game this afternoon looking for fresh tactical ideas and I think that we need to sub in Messi at halftime.卡塔尔

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Mpkotabelud:相当于说,上次我们在联赛主场击溃马德里竞赛的时候,教练要么Mourinho?(So, the last time that Real beat Atletico at home in La Liga was in Jose穆里尼奥 period?卡塔尔

Raphael1987:本身起来思量C 罗Nardo的射篮了,起码不像明日这么哪个人都想去XJBT后生可畏脚…(I miss 罗Nardo free kicks. At least there was no bullshit like this where everyone takes a try卡塔尔国

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Harkoncito:我们的战略就是先随意传球九十八回,然后传给Carvajal让他去传中…(Our tactics is basically pass the ball 100 times, give it to Carvajal and cross it.卡塔尔国

Commandophile:今昔皇马俱乐部球员好像还都在给C 罗Nardo传球,不过C 罗Nardo到底在何地就一无所知了…(It seems that every just tried to pass to Ronaldo but no one knew where he was.卡塔尔(قطر‎

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小豌豆进球,Chelsea1-1West Ham United Football Club

george_regann:观看Evra和小豌豆还在一齐比赛,小编忍不住热泪盈眶…(Seeing evra and 埃尔南德斯 together brings a tear to my eye.卡塔尔国

aprx4:还会有莫耶斯呢!诶,等等…(And Moyes. Oh wait....卡塔尔

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jhuskisson:本身曾经想不起来上次大家1-0当先时还不用忧虑对方非常快就追平是如何时候了…(I can’t remember the last match we were winning 1-0 that I didn’t think “ok they’re going to equalise soon”.卡塔尔国

_cumblast_:后天Burnley Football Club间隔Chelsea的分数差,已经比切尔西间隔热刺俱乐部或萨克拉门托还少了…(Burnley are closer to Chelsea in the Premier League table, than Chelsea are to Tottenham or Liverpool.卡塔尔

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主场爆冷门,皇家马德里0-3孟买焦点海军

SahdBoi:齐祖先生,笔者觉获得不是很好…(Zidane i dont feel so good........State of Qatar

Fake_Fibonacci:都赖奥克兰,让大家有了还能够在欧洲季军联赛横着走的错觉!(I blame Roma for making me believe that we were different in the UCL .卡塔尔(قطر‎

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amh137:这场交锋贝尔看自身脚踝的时日,都比真正投入竞赛的日子还多了…(Bale has spent more time looking at his ankle than actually playing football.卡塔尔国

TeKaeS:亲密的朋友们别被Real Madrid Club de Fútbol骗了,二〇一八年他俩正是那般,结果到了八月份C 罗纳尔多就就从头场均帽子戏法了!(Guys don't get fouled. Like last year in January, Ronaldo will start scoring 3 goals every game and save Madrid.卡塔尔国

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Federica21:见到皇家马德里一贯在破纪录,真的好仰慕呀!(I'm a little jealous Real Madrid are breaking all these records.卡塔尔(قطر‎

Volitient:索Larry堪当纪录磨粉机,但她还得继续开足马力本领达到规定的规范洛Pater吉的水平!(Solari the record breaker, what a legend. He has to live up to Lopetegui's standards hahaha.卡塔尔(قطر‎

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tha-bad-guy:咱俩近期打破的难堪纪录总是能追溯到二零一零年,为何吧,因为当时现在就有C 罗Nardo了…(All the records we are breaking this year always come back to 二零零六. It's like Ronaldo never happened.卡塔尔国

WWECreativegenius:笔者们在欧洲足球亚军联赛也只输给了孟买主旨海军而已!可是绝不担心,接下去在欧洲足球亚军联赛料定不会遇见他们了!(So we only lose in CL against CSKA. Problem solved because after today we won't play them again this campaign.卡塔尔

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Ozil进球,Arsenal Football Club2-0沃特福德俱乐部

JJFresh814:作者厂那获胜次数多了,段子还真就不佳编了…(We are short of memes if we win too many times…卡塔尔

Nachoiscool:二〇一八年我们能获得争四联赛的亚军了呢!(We’re winning the 4th place trophy this year.卡塔尔

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Nyhrox:阿森纳足球俱乐部是否不明白竞赛前80分钟也是允许进球的?(Does Arsenal know they don't have to wait 80 mins to score goals?卡塔尔

GetYourDijkOut:天长日久都不领悟阿森纳足球俱乐部踢弱队的这种打法,前70分钟就如湿疹相近,而最后每日又分秒09年巴萨附体了…(Never understand Arsenal against lower teams, cannot give a shit for 70 mins, score a goal then turn into 09 Barcelona to end a match.卡塔尔(قطر‎

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好了,亲爱的同伴们,本期的“国外也许有段子手”就为大家播报到那了,让大家拭目以俟,来看下一期歪果仁们更优良的尖锐调侃啊!

奥巴拉卡进球,阿森纳俱乐部4-2热刺俱乐部

Banzaimiha:是什么人说奥巴梅杨只会在踢弱队的时候进球的?说得太特么对了!(People were saying Aubameyang only scores against small teams. They were right.卡塔尔(قطر‎

WarrenAlaCarte:洛里买了张贵宾球票来看这一场球啊!(Lloris paid a premium ticket to watch the game!)

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Aidsfart_ 112:那四个赌Mike-Dean会判给阿森纳俱乐部点球的人真是赚翻了,现在得是富商了呢!(Well done to the people who bet on 迈克 Dean giving Arsenal a pen... must be millionaires now.State of Qatar

Ttblue:必需的哟,每一次麦克Dean吹阿森纳足球俱乐部的竞赛,我都赌他给阿森纳足球俱乐部点球,以后本人早已然是富人了!哦对了,在此以前作者是大宗富翁…(Yes I bet on him a penalty for us every time and now I’m a millionaire. By the way I was a billionaire before.卡塔尔(قطر‎

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Throwberaway:Lakazette和奥巴梅杨之间的基情好魔性啊…(The bromance between Laca and Auba...magical.卡塔尔国

cwillard260:就连迈克-Dean都阻止不了他俩了吧!(伊夫n Mike Dean can’t stop him.卡塔尔国

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longconsilver13:今日阿森纳足球俱乐部观球的观众性高潮般的呐喊,已经被接纳到里式地震等级里去了!(冈恩ers or瓦斯m has just registered on the Richter Scale.卡塔尔国

Drewdru:世界波、销路好冲突、犯规、红牌、烟火、激情、埋怨,好三个德比啊!(Bangers, Scuffles, Fouls, Sending off, Flares, Passion, Hatred, What a Derby!)

2girls1kun:唯朝气蓬勃的可惜便是前日Mike-Dean不怎么在意况…(Pity that Mikewas back in form.卡塔尔(قطر‎

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vapianonuts24:自己是曼联俱乐部看球的观者,小编帮朋友问的呦,你们都以怎么进攻的?(United fan here, how do you attack? Asking for a friend.卡塔尔国

Benn_Must-die:不比曼彻斯特联就聘笔者当教练吧,笔者在FIFA13里边都带着曼彻斯特联足球俱乐部赢得欧洲季军联赛十连冠了啊!(Hire me I got Manchester United to win the champions league 10 years in a row in Fifa 13 mobile.State of Qatar

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22场不败终结,阿森纳足球俱乐部2-3奥Hus

nanotech23:怎么奥Hus的先锋每便踢我们的时候就都改为德罗巴了?(Why Southampton strikers always turn into Drogba every time against us?卡塔尔

Poliosdd:恭贺圣徒!你们能或不能别再卖人给印第安纳波利斯了?(Congrats Southampton! Pls dont sell anymore players to Liverpool.)

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rompskee:原先Arsenal Football Club是对上全场过敏,以往是对全场竞赛都过敏了…(Arsenal was allergic to the first half before, but now it’s been cured as they were allergic to the whole match.卡塔尔

Shaggythemoshdog:22场不败的纪录,竟然被生机勃勃支现今主场都没获胜过的球队给终结了…(22 Unbeaten streak lost to a team who hasn’t won at home until now. Of course.卡塔尔国

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战功糟糕,曼联俱乐部1-3西汉姆联足球俱乐部

JihadDerp:曼怜。(Moan United.)

Eff_Jay:穆离尼奥。(Mourinhout.State of Qatar

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ParisHL:我们不是刚在英联杯踢了迈克斯Field吗,今后这是在踢第一轮?(Didn't we play Maccles田野 the other day, or is this the second leg?卡塔尔

ABloodEagle:自个儿以为穆帅得来二个七年包改革的售后服务才行…(Mourinhoshould come with a three year return warranty.State of Qatar

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break2n:曼彻斯特联足球俱乐部还是有多少个好新闻的!一是那赛季金边和曼彻斯特城足球俱乐部最稀有意气风发支是拿不到联赛亚军的;二是曼彻斯特联俱乐部已经远隔降级区8分之多,三是费莱尼表现很好,已是曼彻斯特联足球俱乐部最有威慑的进攻点了!(Positives for United: At least 1 of Liverpool and City cannot win the league at a time. 8 Points clear of relegation. Fellaini looking like one of the most dangerous attacking options.State of Qatar

SexyMooli:还会有个好消息,正是下一周不用支付桑切斯那8.5万镑的胜球奖金,差不离赚翻了!(Another positive. Don't have to pay Alexis an additional £85,000 bonus this week. Quite a bargain.卡塔尔(قطر‎

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ErydayMansOnTheBlock:Sanchez没伤没病,也随后球队去客场了,但却连大名单都没进去。他这踏入Manchester United9个月来到底获得哪些了…(Alexisdidn't even make the squad. No injury, travelled with the team, but didn't make it. What a nine months he has had...卡塔尔(قطر‎

Ericdrye:获得了差少之甚少1500万的纸币吧!(150 million cash I think.卡塔尔国

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JavBG17:倘诺费莱尼已经在场上了,那你在第90分钟落后的时候还是能够换上什么人去争顶头球呢?(If Fellaini is already on the pitch, who are man u going to bring on for that 90th minute header?卡塔尔

MurrayBookchinIsBae:今夜大家要产生段子之王了…(Tonight we king on memes.卡塔尔国

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UnpopularViewsBot:您要么作为特种的一个过世,要么苟活到见证自个儿成为了倒闭行家。(You either die a special one, or you live long enough to see yourself become the specialist in failure.State of Qatar

(注:此句原出自《蝙蝠侠:铅灰骑士》,“特殊的八个”和“战败行家”均是穆帅优异语录之大器晚成。卡塔尔国

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AdenintheGlaven:好敬慕Pellegrini六十五周岁还会有两头秀发啊!(I am envious at 佩莱格里尼's head of hair at 65.State of Qatar

Estova:好了Rooney作者了解是你,请不要再用大号了!(Well Rooney I know it’s you, use your own account pls.卡塔尔国

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Kveien:西汉姆联俱乐部真是没出息,赢黄金年代支小球队就能够高兴成这么了!(Can't believe these west ham fans are celebrating after beating a small team, shame on them.卡塔尔

Eff_Jay:很为West Ham United Football Club以为欣尉,想要保级就得在Manchester United那样的中游球队身上拿分才行啊!(it's nice to see West Ham leading, they really need to pick up points against mid-table opposition like Man United if they want to remain in PL this season.卡塔尔

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Fedward:何以有人会说曼联俱乐部的较量无聊啊,难道那赛季还应该有比看他俩竞技越来越滑稽的事吧?(I don’t know why people say Man Utd are not entertaining to watch, been enjoying most of their matches this season.卡塔尔国

Primary_Platform:曼联俱乐部今后已经比二零一二年莫耶斯同一时候的积分还要低了…(United are now on less points at this stage of the season than they were in 二零一三 when Moyes was in charge.卡塔尔

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费莱尼绝杀,曼彻斯特联俱乐部1-0福州年轻人

Pubgoinguponatuesday:费莱尼时间到啦,以往费莱尼时间>福开森时间!(Fellaini time approaching lads. Fellaini time > Fergie time.’卡塔尔

Kaztah:中场有个东西笔者老是七遍都没看出来是哪个人,直到刚才想起来费莱尼把头发给剃了…(It's like the 8th time I wonder who the hell that guy on the mid田野先生 is, before I remember Fellainis haircut.卡塔尔国

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Bigbogger:德赫亚救主,费莱尼绝杀,那都以基本操作!(De Gea rescue and Fellaini winner, business as usual.卡塔尔

S7Yidead:当年金球奖不给费莱尼,那正是犯罪!(It’s a crime if Fellaini can’t be awarded Ballon d’OrState of Qatar

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Standupforhufflepuff:那是曼彻斯特联俱乐部这个赛季第叁个欧洲亚军联赛客场进球,整个欧洲亚军联赛里就从未比她们进得更晚的了…(This was United's first home goal in the CL this season, they were the last team to score one this year.卡塔尔国

nova_uk:既然如此这两支队都不理解怎么进攻,那她们是怎么踢进UEFA Champions League正赛的…(How are these two teams in the champions league when they both don't know how to attack?卡塔尔国

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CounterfeitMemes:曼彻斯特联足球俱乐部真应该把温馨的交锋摄像卖给医署去当安眠药!(Manchester United should sell their games to hospitals as general hypnotics.卡塔尔

Renegadecoaster:部分住在球场旁边的人家,应该能在院子里发掘多数这一场的足球吧…(Someone in the local neighborhood just got some nice balls in their yard.卡塔尔国

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Welbeck两个球,阿森纳足球俱乐部3-2卡利

Juhmazing:那踢球就如喝醉酒的长脖鹿的Welbeck,竟然也能通常传来个好球了?(伊芙n Welbeck who strikes the ball like a drunk giraffe with vertigo makes a beautiful pass every now and then.卡塔尔

mustache_dad:自家奋力说性格很顽强在荆棘塞途或巨大压力面前不屈了投机,刚才看的90分钟确实是一场真正的竞技…(I tried to persuade myself what we just watched for 90 minutes technically counts as a real football match.State of Qatar

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JavBG17:当有人问笔者世界最棒球员是哪个人时,作者正是Messi,因为Welbeck根本就不归属地球!(When people ask me who I think the best player in the world is I say Messi, because Welbeck is clearly not from this earth.卡塔尔国

GhostOfCaesar:真缺憾啊,霍金助教还未破解Welbeck之谜就糟糕逝世了!(What a pity Professor Hawking died before he could explain Danny Welbeck.卡塔尔(قطر‎

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Bears-Eat_Beets:宣判心中精晓,对阿森纳足球俱乐部最不利的惩罚,其实正是确认保证WillHill向来能在场上踢球!(The ref knew that the real punishment for Arsenal would be to keep Wilshere on and make sure he can play.卡塔尔(قطر‎

IfYouRun:实际上乌特勒支观球的观众们依旧值得欣喜一下的,最少二零一两年夏季圣Antonio不会再来买你们的球员了…(On the bright side for Southampton fans, at least Liverpool aren't going to buying any of your players this summer...卡塔尔

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Shachiri双响,纽卡斯尔3-1曼彻斯特联足球俱乐部继续领跑

Buffed:奥Hus,你嘛时候是英国一级联赛第风流洒脱哟?就在前天!(so you can say we are the champion today.卡塔尔

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Hieillua:那怎么看起来就疑似阿布贾在踢风流倜傥支指皁为白的中间球队同样?(It was like watching Liverpool vs. a struggling midtable team.卡塔尔国

ProSnuggles:要不呢,你认为在看怎么呀?(I thought that's what we were watching?卡塔尔

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spoofex:也不知晓克雷塔罗观球的观众有何可欢畅的,不就是带头羊赢了意气风发支中游球队吗?(Not sure what Liverpool fans are so excited about all a top team did was beat a mid table side.State of Qatar

Drei-im-Weggla:渣叔下了一步大棋啊,Shachiri那几个头,费莱尼根本就肘击不到了!(5D chess from 克洛普 to sub in a player too small for Fellaini to elbow.卡塔尔

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Kylael:Shachiri进球的一瞬,克莱因的神气在为进球而庆祝依然为Shachiri抢射而苦闷之间郁结了好久…(Clyne looked to have a hard time choosing between happy for the goal or pissed for Shaq stealing his chance.卡塔尔

evian_is_naive:自身认为克莱因只是在纳闷球怎么就突然进去了…(I think he was just wondering how the hell that went in.卡塔尔国

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AnonymousSixSixSix:天呐,密尔沃基怎么起来进曼彻斯特联风格的球了?(Damn even Liverpool are scoring United style goals.State of Qatar

RedditThisBiatch:咱俩实际上便是后生可畏支有钱的Stowe克城罢了…(We are nothing but a Stoke with more money.卡塔尔国

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LordVelaryon:法比尼奥可以称作光头Peel洛!他必定是学习费莱尼的可观集锦了!(Fabinho is just a bald Pirlo, must have been watching Fellaini highlights.卡塔尔(قطر‎

ThanLo:费莱尼也只是是长了头发的Benzema而已…(Fellaini is just a hairy 奔驰ema.卡塔尔国

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fan-tung:Matić不错呀,这一场比赛竟有那样奇妙的看球视界!(Matic has got a fantastic seat to watch this game from.卡塔尔(قطر‎

twigg89:笔者有个别相信Lukaku踢前锋都比不上范戴克了…(I genuinely think Van Dijk is a better striker than Lukaku.卡塔尔

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Hazardzuzu:今日Lukaku的事态和Morata同样好啊!(lukaku as effective as morata today.卡塔尔国

DidierDrogbaII:至今自身还记得当时三夏,人们在争辨Morata和Lukaku哪个人更牛逼…未来来看,最终的胜者其实是Lakazette…(I remember that summer lots of people were arguing who was going to be better... I think Lacazette won that argument in the end.卡塔尔(قطر‎

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Agüero丝Tring进球,曼彻斯特城足球俱乐部2-0布Leighton足球俱乐部

Ironman122:输给曼彻斯特城足球俱乐部…那能叫输么?又不是每轮都能踢Manchester United!(It’s okay to lose to city as we can’t play against united every week.卡塔尔国

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Do_not_tempt_me:以为Sterling就能够进三种球,生机勃勃种是接横传推射空门,黄金时代种正是直接进世界波…(I feel like sterling scores two types of goals. These tap in that are slid across from the other side. The second type are bangers.卡塔尔国

njf88:何时Sterling能进单刀了,作者就把他的名字纹在丁丁上!(I will have his name tattooed on my dick when he can score a 1v1.卡塔尔

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:约旦难民营中的风流洒脱处足篮球场

莱万罗贝里进球,FC Bayern Munich5-1本菲卡

Powerbelge:“小编哪怕练了10000种把势的人,但本身怕把同三个招式练了10000次的人”——李振藩。(I fear not the man who has practiced 10,000 kicks once, but I fear the man who has practiced one kick 10,000 time 布Russ Lee.卡塔尔国

BigFatNo:公元2059年,75虚岁的罗本内切射门得分,拜仁拉各斯足球俱乐部已和其再度续约。(The year is 2059. 罗本, 75, cuts inside and scores for Bayern as he receives another contract extension.卡塔尔

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Santatitular:对不起FC Bayern Munich,其实不是你们状态复苏了,而是我们实在太烂了…(Sorry to Bayern fans but you are not back. We are that bad lol.卡塔尔国

Ubergold:哈哈哈,踢“10年来最弱的拜仁俱乐部”都能输成1-5,连Arsenal Football Club观球的观众都笑了!(lol , imagine losing 5-1 to the worst 拜尔n in 10 years. 伊夫n Arsenal fans will laugh about this.State of Qatar

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FCB_Rich:见到赛前球队的教练还未下课,本菲卡看球的粉丝好像更伤感了…(Benfica fans in shambles after they realize their coach still isn't getting fired.卡塔尔国

Playerayton:FC Bayern Munich高层:“看见了吗,罗贝里仍然是能够用呢未来,用不卓引援!”(Bayern board: "See, no transfers needed! Robbery still got it")

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C Ronaldo无解倒钩,皇家马德里俱乐部3-0尤文图斯俱乐部

Merforce1:皇家马德里足球俱乐部玩FIFA游戏的难度等第依次为:欧洲足球亚军联赛级、生手级、半专业级、专门的学问级、世界级、传奇级和西甲联赛级。(Difficulty levels for RM playing fifa: CL, 阿Mataiur, Semi-pro, Professional, World Class, Legendary, Liga.卡塔尔

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Brokingiant:走在雨巷中,寒风料峭透;是何人的眼泪随风飞走,是什么人的实心被雨淋透。(I’m walking down the cold street and at first I thought it was raining, but it is the bitter tears of me. And they are flowing from my heart.卡塔尔国

Beddevils:本身好思念那时,大家豆蔻年华并驰骋欧洲亚军联赛的时候。(I miss the days we ruled CL.卡塔尔

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JPaken:大家在俄罗丝踢世界杯的时候,能还是不可能每场赛后都演奏一下欧洲足球亚军联赛主旨曲…(I'd like to order champions league anthems for Russia World Cup, please卡塔尔(قطر‎

GRI23:C罗一定会成为炮hub上的新型的,因为她接连射向老妇人!(Ronaldoshould be the new pornhub star with how much he loves fucking Old Ladies.卡塔尔国

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Lovebanter:本人用尽无数脑筋去恨C罗,可她却贰遍又一遍用如此的变现打肿小编的脸!(I invest so much time and energy into hating 罗纳尔多 and he goes and does this every time to make me shit.State of Qatar

Guy_Ostrich:与其把那么些恨意都转载为纯粹的观赏吧,大概50年内都不会再有这么的球员了!(All the hate energy was invested into appreciating something I might not see again for 50 years.State of Qatar

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NIRossoneri:阿莱格里是或不是让球员们像踢决赛同样踢这一场竞技了…(I'm guessing Allegri's team talk was to treat this like a final.卡塔尔

Totally_Uninvolved:尤文幸免双重输掉最后一轮比赛的最棒措施,正是毫不进决赛!(Juve: You can't choke in the final if you don't even reach it.卡塔尔国

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Ninjapizzadude:布冯在场上的第一遍触球,竟然是从球网里捡球…(Buffons first touch of the game was to pick the ball from the back of the net. Stats!)

yammertime27:有人黑C Ronaldo只会进保姆球,但C 罗Nardo打了他们的脸,最终的保姆球根本就没进!(罗Nardoproving the haters wrong with the tap in miss at the end.卡塔尔(قطر‎

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Wigos:譬如您在赛后就告知笔者C 罗Nardo将会主宰一切,那本人大致得…亲你两嘴巴子(If you had told me before this game that 罗Nardo would completely dominate the match then I would have kissed you.卡塔尔国

HippoBigga:上次把皇家马德里足球俱乐部从UEFA Champions League淘汰的球队就是尤文,而那早已经是3年前的事了…(Crazy to think that Juve was the last team to eliminate Madrid from the Champions League... Almost three years ago.卡塔尔

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tweazz :Benzema三保伊瓜因是或不是在较量何人浪费的火候越来越多…(Benzema and higuain to compete in wasting scoring chances.State of Qatar

Kaint58:浪费时机的前提,是您首先得成立开火候啊…(But you should have some chances to waste at first.State of Qatar

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Messi三射两传,巴萨5-0莱万特足球俱乐部

hitler_sucked_balls:梅西,别、别再传那性感的弧线了,小编...作者飞机都要打光了…(Messi, stop passing like sexy curve. I can't masturbate anyone.卡塔尔国

Kirkrrr:苏牙正是刚刚不吃嘴边之饼,随时却又能射出震动四座的进球;刚刚还浪费了别人的绝佳妙不可言的传球,过会儿却又踢出了小贝的外脚背弧线…(Suarezis the oddest world class player lmao. Misses easy goals, but then scores worldies right afterwards. Misses easy passes, but then bends it like Beckham with the outside of the boot. What a player.卡塔尔

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TerribleDrama:加把劲啊莱万特俱乐部,你们咋踢得跟Real Madrid Club de Fútbol同样差啊?(Oh cmon, why can't you be shit like us?卡塔尔国

EnergetikNA:诶,巴萨,我们拿Morata换Pique如何?(ay Barca trade Morata for Pique?卡塔尔国

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VoxelRiot:Messi就是矮个子的Pique而已!(Messi is just a short Pique.卡塔尔(قطر‎

Kingnash95:Pique进球就好像笔者玩FIFA的时候,在第90分钟时让门将去踢前锋进个球同样…(That's like me bringing my keeper at 90th minute and try to score with him in fifa.卡塔尔(قطر‎

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要点之战,Chelsea1-1纽卡斯尔

bluenokia2:啊~Azar,这速度,那进球,这屁股,小编真是欲罢无法了…(Omg Hazard, that speed, that goal, that arse, can’t hold myself now…卡塔尔(قطر‎

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AmnesiaFX:作为Belgium的印第安纳波利斯观球的观众,天知道自家是有多郁结…(As a Belgian Liverpool fan I don't know how I feel about this...卡塔尔国

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HankMoodyMaddafakaaa:看得笔者头脑都倒霉使了,那难道正是佛祖打架么…(My mind is blown. What am i watching? Aliens fighting?State of Qatar

Smrifire:毫无让这场交锋让您忘了曼彻斯特联足球俱乐部1-3输给了West Ham United Football Club啊!(Don't let this match distract you from the fact that United lost 3-1 to West ham.卡塔尔

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Codespyder:踢得真美观,你们俩能或无法每周都踢比赛啊?(You two can play each other every week as far as I'm concerned. What an excellent games.State of Qatar

Red_Baron22:老是Azar拿球的时候,吓得本身黄花都干发急100倍…(My butt is clenching intensifies 100x every time Hazard gets the ball.卡塔尔(قطر‎

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Cynicalreason:曼彻斯特城俱乐部、卡利和Chelsea都在秀骚操作,热刺俱乐部和阿森纳足球俱乐部也还O几把K,唯有他们的另三个表兄弟跟不上趟了…(City, Liverpool & Chelsea making a show, Spurs & Arsenal are damn thereabouts .. and then there’s the retarded cousin...State of Qatar

BasicallyNeymar:您是说Everton F.C.?

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Vivlam:曼彻斯特城19分,里尔19分,Chelsea17分,北London俩仇人各15分,二〇一八年Top5已经成型了!(City 19, Pool 19 and Chelsea 17, 诺思 London Bottlers 15 each. Top 5 shaping up.)

dead_siaf:不是top6吗?就好像此瞧不起沃特福德足球俱乐部吗?(It’s top 6, you forgot fucking Watford.卡塔尔

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Raymondliang:招待萨拉赫回到复旦科桥,今后请您也回复原先在此的事态呢!(Welcome back to Chelsea, Salah. Back on form with us.卡塔尔

sunman6:Chelsea对新山,就像上个赛季波特兰对曼城俱乐部雷同了…(Is Chelseagoing to be for Liverpool what Liverpool was for Manchester City last season.State of Qatar

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顺风出线,Manchester City F.C.2-2拉斯维加斯

elburrito1:David-Silva的毛发是又长出来了,依旧她头皮晒黑了?(Is david silva growing his hair out again or is he’s head just tanned?卡塔尔(قطر‎

NotoriousTowns:笔者们能直接踢Manchester City F.C.直到那赛季结束么?(Can we play only Man City until the end of the season?State of Qatar

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乌龙重出江湖,巴萨4-1加拉加斯

AenarIT:我们是还是不是脑子Watt了,竟然穿暗黄的球衣在诺Camp踢球…(White away kit, at the Camp Nou. What could go wrong with our heads?State of Qatar

Canadianarepa:加拉加斯不是一天建设成的,但却被巴萨1个钟头就毁掉了…(Roma wasn’t built in a day but Barcelona destroyed it in an hour.卡塔尔(قطر‎

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SchraleAnus:本身就知道巴萨有干爹,你看未有对手的赞助,巴萨根本就赢不了!(F*cking uefalona, can't win without the help of the other team scoring own goals /s.)

AngorLT:巴托梅乌打电话:“喂,奥Crane,你们别演得这么明白好倒霉?”(Bartomeu : Hello? Roma? Dont make it so obviousState of Qatar

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Noiserr:乌龙球能还是不能算大家的主场进球啊?(Own goals should count as away goals :P卡塔尔国

Othersidegi:借使布达佩斯进了乌龙帽子戏法,那能还是不能够把比赛用球带走呢…(If own goal scores a hat trick to Roma get to keep the match ball?.卡塔尔国

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Raddaya:看看C 罗Nardo进了倒钩,Messi决定进越来越高难度的球——那即是精心绪调整对手来进球!(Ronaldoscores an epic bicycle kick? Pfft, Messi just mind controls defenders into scoring for him. GOAT.卡塔尔(قطر‎

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AXMiller:有了皮克、暴力鸟和奥恩-戈尔那三叉戟,简直天下无双!(This game is done. No one can defend against a front-line with Paulinhio, Pique and Own Goal.卡塔尔国

Clungeon_master:Messi已调整离开巴萨,只为不愿在奥恩-戈尔的黑影下踢球!(Messiis going to leave Barcelona to get out of Own Goals shadow.State of Qatar

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LosTerminators:在租售给拜仁埃及开罗足球俱乐部1天后,奥恩-戈尔强势回归巴萨!(own goal back with us after a day's loan with Bayern.)

Olive_truth:巴萨在2017-18赛季的严重性词,正是门柱和乌龙了吧…(Barca 2017-2018: OG vs Post.State of Qatar

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Scrench97:万分的Allison,竟然要一人民防空2支球队的射门…(Poor Allisonhas two teams playing against him.State of Qatar

pbaik829:Dzeko啊,你那球方向射反了哟!(WRONG GOAL DZEKO.State of Qatar

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中标出线,密尔沃基1-0Società Sportiva Calcio Napoli

RobbieWard123:看圣安东尼奥浪费这么多时机,笔者都已希图看那不勒斯俱乐部最终时候绝平了…(Liverpool are really setting this up for a last minute Napoli goal with all their missed chances.卡塔尔

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Callthewambulance:那竞技绝对折作者阳寿!(This match is going to take time off my life.卡塔尔国

Look_into_it_man:比赛中洗的澡真是白洗了,将来笔者裤子都已湿的百般了…(I went for a shower before the match. Seems pointless now with how much wet my pants are.卡塔尔国

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WetLikeMyJumperTho:怎么你们要黑Henderson的显示?本场交锋一贯就看不见他好啊!(People trashing Henderson this match but Hamsik has been missing for the match.State of Qatar

Rage_Your_Dream:要往好的方面想,起码波特兰那赛季是得再三欧联杯亚军了…(Positive take away: Liverpool can't win the Europa League now卡塔尔国

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奥里吉绝杀,埃里温1-0埃弗顿俱乐部

Trombosaurus:奥里吉代表,那球相对是篮球馆上特意练过的!("Practiced on training ground." – Origi.卡塔尔(قطر‎

Oldyongwaiyee:范戴克在传球的立时就总计好了风的速度、球的抛物运动、横梁尺寸以至Pickford手双臂长度度,所以才有了那粒伟大的进球!那7500万转会费的每一分钱都是值得的!(Van Dijk calculated the wind speed, projectile, thickness of crossbar and the length of 皮克福德's arm before he pass that ball. What a Goal. 75mil worth every penny.卡塔尔(قطر‎

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AzraeJ:什么样鬼,怎么Gomez蓬蓬勃勃到Everton F.C.就成为了Iniesta,而在巴萨就独有百分之十功力了?(WTF Andre Gomes acting like he's Iniesta at Everton but when he was with us he was acting like... I don't know, 安德雷 Gomes…卡塔尔国

Pottsaayy:自己看那竞技都疑似女华被人不敢相信 无法相信了长期以来,真不知道埃弗顿足球俱乐部看球的客官会是怎么着认为…(Can’t imagine how Everton fans feel if I’ve got knots in my arse watching this.卡塔尔

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Mitchypoo69:足球?爱过。(I'm done with this sport.)

graveyeverton93:很难想象小编是怎么中意那支球队25年都还一贯不自寻短见的…(How I've gone 25 years supporting Everton without killing myself I'll never know.State of Qatar

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梅西带帽,巴萨3-1莱加内斯足球俱乐部

Adamanthium:看巴萨竞技最大的童趣,正是皮主席的经常顶进禁区去射门…(Piquedaily goal hunting has to be one of my favorite aspect of watching a Barca game.卡塔尔

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:什么叫人生赢家?

r0bski2:Messi在30米惩戒球的素养,已经比超越绝大许多球员踢点球了!(Messiis better from 30 yards than most players are at penalties.卡塔尔国

Sagan0823:是啊,比如Messi。(Messi, for example.卡塔尔国

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Slyrangoon:Messi都不精晓该怎么庆祝进球了,可能是进球都早就成习于旧贯了吧…(Messidoesn't even know what celebration to do now. It has become a routine for him.卡塔尔国

TheoRaan:我们正有幸亲眼见到ArgentinaSalah和荒漠梅西的亚洲金靴争夺!(Sand Messi and Argentine Salah neck and neck for the Golden Boot. What a time to be alive.卡塔尔(قطر‎

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小组出局,国际布鲁塞尔俱乐部1-1埃因霍温

Imoraswut:恭喜斯帕莱蒂喜提心心念的平局,想必一定是很欢乐吗!(Congrats to Spalletti, he got the draw he played for. Must be ecstatic...卡塔尔

Lcalafiore:那比赛踢得犹如埃因霍温才是全力想出线朝气蓬勃致…(PSV played that game as if they were the ones fighting for qualification.卡塔尔(قطر‎

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Supertanto:纯属没悟出,Tottenham Hotspur Football Club竟然一天内能三回以1-1的比分赢五回球…(Didn't know Spurs could win 1-1 twice in one day.State of Qatar

JaSamNejboi:再未有比当Tottenham Hotspur Football Club看球的观者更易于得心脏病的了…(Don’t think anything will you give you a higher chance for a heart attack then being a fucking Spurs fan.卡塔尔

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MrCoins:大家能出线,最应该多谢的正是斯帕莱蒂…(The first one we should thanks for qualifying is Spalletti.卡塔尔(قطر‎

Spaghettievd:Messi进入节约财富格局了,结果我们步向飞行形式了(Messi was in energy saving mode but we were airplane mode…卡塔尔国

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曼朱进球,尤文1-0瓦伦西亚

Sapitobej:自己向来纳闷,为何C 罗Nardo要去尤文呢,那样不就平昔生存在小编大曼朱的影子之下了吧?(I always wondered why would ronny want to go to juventus, only to be in mandzukic's shade.卡塔尔(قطر‎

Wipes2190:与上述同类长此现在了,C 罗Nardo终于有个能吃饼的队友了…(罗Nardo finally find a striker who can be assisted…State of Qatar

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C 罗Nardo格列兹曼进球,皇家马德里1-1马德里比赛

ketzal7:虽说见到C罗进球特别不爽,但自己恐怕不自觉地硬了…(Im upset but erect at the same time when 罗Nardo scores.卡塔尔

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jerrie86:本场较量,最应该得红牌的就是评判!(Referee should be given red for this match.卡塔尔国

pathogeN7:嫌疑的是,这一个赛季五次多伦多德比,最后的胜利者竟然都是巴萨…(Hard to believe Barcelona win the Madrid derby for the second time this season,.卡塔尔(قطر‎

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Benzema进球,皇家马德里1-0巴列卡诺足球俱乐部

VEgeta18:Benzema进球了?小编还认为他和C 罗Nardo一齐去尤文了吗!(Benzema scored? I thought he had been to juve with 罗Nardo.卡塔尔

Krishna:说真话,Benzema已然是大家那赛季踢得最佳的球员了…(Tbh Benzema has been Madrid's best player this season.卡塔尔国

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好了,亲爱的同伴们,本期的“国外也许有段子手”就为大家播报到那了,让大家上一期不见不散!

MessiPique进球,巴萨2-1埃因霍温

GravyIsALie:门将:“开端了吧?”Messi:“已经停止了!”(Goalie is still waiting for Messi to shoot, doesn't realize the ball is already in the net.卡塔尔国

Itrytogetthingsdone:看看第1个进球小编简直不敢相信本身的眸子,但后生可畏看是梅西进的,那就认为只是是正规操作而已了。(I am surprised to see that that first goal l but unsurprised that Messiwas able to score.卡塔尔

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Futchfapper:梅西的欧洲足球亚军联赛进球,已经和埃因霍温队史UEFA Champions League进球数同样多了…(Messihas now scored as many Champions League goals as PSV.卡塔尔国

MGS1911:吹Messi得有个限度可以吗,都在说他什么球都能进,这怎么就没进过乌龙球?(I don’t think Messi is that good, they say that he can do anything but I’ve never see him scoring an own goal.卡塔尔国

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maxr0cket:哇哦,埃因霍温的射门大概是对球网过敏吧!(Wow... that PSV ball is allergic to the net.卡塔尔(قطر‎

mikeondrugs:现行反革命我们的零封场次数甚至还比不上伤患人数多了…(At this point we're gonna have way more injuries than clean sheets.卡塔尔

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TheBestTortilla:芸芸众生我们已经让门柱和横梁替代后卫去守护啦!(Apparently we’ll have the posts and crossbar do our defense instead of actually defending.State of Qatar

TheBestTortilla:当您有Messi和神锋Pique的时候,还索要什么样防御呀!(Who needs defense when you have Messi and striker Piqué?.卡塔尔国

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brum592:球队在最后每一日贻误时间很成千成万,可强如巴萨也可能有必要踢个埃因霍温都耽搁时间吗...(Sure everyone wastes time in situations like this, but it's kinda meh to see a club like Barca need to do this against PSV…卡塔尔

Edihcex:那有啥万分的,强如巴萨也难保险场场大捷啊,又不是每一周都能踢皇马俱乐部!(Anything goes wrong? 伊芙n barca can hardly smash all the team they meet since they cannot play against Real Madrid every week.卡塔尔国

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Muppetx:埃因霍温明明每场欧洲足球季军联赛都踢得很好,结果明日才得了一分…(PSV have played well in every game yet are still left with 1 point.卡塔尔TomV23:万幸因为梅西,大家的UEFA Champions League才没戏啊!(Our CL so far is messing because of Messi.卡塔尔国

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联赛六连冠!拜仁俱乐部4-1奥格斯堡足球俱乐部

-zimms-:明日拜仁俱乐部是时候管理伤病问题了,究竟过几天还也会有举足轻重的竞赛,何况须求至少有十五个平常的球员能上场的…(Time for Bayern to get physical as well. This is ridiculous. Bayern has another important game in a couple of days and would need at least 11 uninjured players.卡塔尔国

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好了,亲爱的友人们,本期的“海外也会有段子手”就为大家播报到这了,让我们上期不见不散!

Sanne梅开,曼城俱乐部2-1霍芬海姆足球俱乐部

Codespyder:Sanne:“笔者该怎么本事踢好射篮啊!”瓜瓜:“你就把球当成是勒夫的脑瓜儿就能够!”(Leroy: "How do I become good at free kicks?" Pep: "Picture the ball as Jogi Löw's head".卡塔尔(قطر‎

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Mr_Lich12:照那样子,相当慢大家全队就都以病者了…(By this rate we gonna end up with entire Injury team.State of Qatar

Nickoboosh:咱俩别争联赛季军了,照旧先争争伤病吧…(Forget the title race, injury race is where it's at.State of Qatar

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贝尔巴斯克斯进球,皇家马德里俱乐部2-0开普敦

TheStryfe:笔者们又要一非常大心就得欧洲足球季军联赛冠军了么…(We're going to accidently win the champions league again.卡塔尔(قطر‎

good_fellla:Bell和巴斯克斯几乎都成西甲联赛最差球员了,来到欧洲足球亚军联赛却又双双进球…(Bale and 巴斯克斯 are trying so hard to win worst player in the league but they both scored in CL…卡塔尔(قطر‎

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misplaced_references:C 罗Nardo是受到损伤了吗,怎么前些天没出台啊?(Is Ronaldoinjured or something? Why can’t I see him?State of Qatar

Tweazz:据书上说C 罗Nardo出去买披萨了,结果留在这再也没回来…(Dude said he was going out for some pizza and never came back smh.State of Qatar

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SterlingHotsus进球,曼彻斯特城足球俱乐部3-1Everton F.C.

SupervisorLaw:有意思的是,前几日享有的乌特勒支观球的观众都盼着埃弗顿足球俱乐部获胜,而曼彻斯特城足球俱乐部看球的粉丝却都愿意Manchester United能获胜…(Funnily today all of Liverpool fans hope Everton wins and tommorow all of City fans hope United wins.卡塔尔国

Goooooringer:两队这是轮流望着温馨的后防线玩火么…(Both teams taking turns watching their defense vanish.State of Qatar

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皮克Alenia进球,巴萨2-0黄潜

Mihaicaus:一言以蔽之大家的锋线三叉戟正是Dembele、Messi和Pique了!(Seems like we need a Dembele-Messi-Pique as the front three.卡塔尔国

Bgraviton:大家把Pique买了呢,恐怕她才是代表C罗的一级人选…(Maybe Pique would have been perfect for a 罗Nardo replacement for us.State of Qatar

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Dark_Legend_:Alenia简直像爱斯基摩人同样冷淡,那纯属是最周边梅西助攻Messi的进球了…(Alena is as cool as an Eskimos. Closest thing we'll see to Messi assisting Messi.卡塔尔(قطر‎

OneBall22Players:评判是把红黄牌忘在茶水间了么...(Referee fergot his cards in the locker room.)

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获抽取线说话权,法国首都2-1阿雷格里港

batigoal:后天自家看欧联杯也挺眉清目秀的…(Europa league looks stacked now.卡塔尔

FoodCourtDruid:克拉科夫后卫:“咦,球过来小编禁区啦?好风趣哦,我们快来看看啊!”(Liverpool defenders: "Hmm, a ball in the box? This is interesting. Let's take a look at it."卡塔尔

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im_nice_to_everyon:无论外表照旧踢法,拉比奥特都能够说是运动版的费莱尼…(Rabiot looks like a discount Fellaini both in size and play style.卡塔尔(قطر‎

tweazz:Milner自己就是百炼成钢的名将了,结果竟然比布冯小了8岁之多…(milner himself is a veteran but when you realize that he is still 8 years younger than buffon.卡塔尔国

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ATouchOfIwobi:当法国首都攻击的时候,阿雷格里港的防备依然还没曾练习锥管用…(When they attack at pace Liverpool might as well be replaced by cones.卡塔尔(قطر‎

Shawnlowvon:Neymar和姆巴佩总让自家想起小剥皮和雪诺,笔者是还是不是没救了… (Neymar and Mbappe remind me of Ramsay and Jon Snow... I’m weird...卡塔尔国

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OrangeSyringe:圣安东尼奥难道未有中场么?(Does Liverpool have a mid田野?卡塔尔(قطر‎

Wade0:嘿?中场是吗?(what's that?卡塔尔

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盖棺定论,欧洲足球季军联赛抽签宣布!

A_Kind_Shark:Atlético Madrid和尤文的交锋,怕是能治好作者的痔疮症了…(Atleti vs Juve is gonna cure my insomnia.State of Qatar

feb914:温尼伯怎么没抽到皇家马德里足球俱乐部,那不是观念的台本嘛?(I can't believe that Lyon is not drawn with Real Madrid, it's tradition!)

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Stuelg:近期看16强抽签认为轻易多了~(Finelly the 16 draw seems easy to me.)

BroOfDumbo:你好拜仁胡志明市,作者是枪手的对象尸首,请对大家温柔一点…(Hey Bayern I’m gunner’s friend goner, be gentle pls…State of Qatar

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获得平局,Manchester United2-2拉巴斯

Alfie_13:嘿嘿,看见竞争对手甩掉2分真是太欢悦了,那样普埃布拉就不会免强到大家争四了!(Lol our rivals dropped 2 points. No way Southampton can get top 4 now.卡塔尔国

AjenoMerveilles:穆帅说过曼彻斯特联要在11月份重临前四,可她没说是在哪年的10月…(To be fair to 何塞, he didn't say which January Man Utd would be in the top four...卡塔尔

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Bayyon:相比较之下于积分头名,曼联俱乐部现在偏离积分榜尾的分数差鲜明越来越小,而且净获胜还特么是个负数…(Manchester United are closer to the bottom than they are to the top, and fucking -1 GD…卡塔尔

JoshPCMR:这竞赛下全场,就连吸血鬼都能给看睡着了…(That second half could have put a vampire to sleep.State of Qatar

jebish7:那竞技从进球战役到瞌睡战争的调换实乃太高速了…(The game went from goalfest to snoozefest really soon.State of Qatar

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ThreeForElvenKings:讲歌唱家笑话Lukaku风流洒脱脚触球的戏弄,差不离是下全场唯意气风发的亮点了吧…(The commentators laughing at Lukaku's first touch certainly was the highlight of the second half.卡塔尔

Mcneilintheplace:Lukaku大比很多第黄金年代脚触球相同的时候也是最终大器晚成脚触球…(卢卡库. Most of the time his first touch is his last touch.卡塔尔

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Jones乌龙,瓦伦西亚2-1曼彻斯特联足球俱乐部

Babygrenade:Manchester United那帮球员怎么每一回都以为像第叁次组成代表队踢球同样…(United looking like it's the first time they've played together.卡塔尔国

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RagnarJoshi:Manchester United那赛季有十分三的竞赛都冒出0-2战败的局面了…(Man United have been 2-0 down in 30 percent of their games this season.State of Qatar

OldAccountNotUsable:自己想说,在对方球门前面摆客车可不是个好主意啊…(Reversing the Bus into your enemy’s box isn't a good idea.卡塔尔国

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Pmingnudes:Lukaku看起来有如穿着直筒裤和登山靴在踢球相似…(Lukakuplays like hes wearing jeans and hiking boots.卡塔尔国

manun1ted:彪马是或不是该出钱让Lukaku不要再代言自身的球鞋了…(Puma should consider paying Lukaku not to wear their boots.卡塔尔国

Debaser-IRK:本来我还想笑话两句,结果想起来大家还会有Morata…(I would laugh at this but then I realised we have Morata卡塔尔(قطر‎

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Maxbiggavels:操控曼彻斯特联足球俱乐部游戏手柄的小伙子是还是不是二回安了太多键了,Computer都不明白你要干啥了!(The player controlling Man United is mashing too many buttons at the same time and confusing the A.I.卡塔尔(قطر‎

Noneek:Bogba是或不是在世界杯后就爆冷门忘了怎么踢球了?(Did Pogba just forget how to football after the World Cup?卡塔尔

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Regularshitpostar:好期望皇家马德里足球俱乐部在欧洲冠军联赛16强里能抽到曼彻斯特联足球俱乐部啊,那纯属是因人而宜的比赛!(Really want Madrid to draw United in the round of 16; would be quite the even contest.卡塔尔(قطر‎

Bigtice:就算瓦伦西亚2-1赢了球,但您不忘记了曼彻斯特联足球俱乐部才是进球更加多的一方啊!(Don't let the fact that 瓦伦西亚 won the game 2-1 distract you from the fact that Manchester United scored more goals.卡塔尔

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同伙们我们好,迎接来到每一周的“外国也可能有段子手”!下一周的澳洲足坛美貌看点举不胜举。UEFA Champions League赛管,皇家马德里足球俱乐部、巴萨、FC Bayern Munich、曼彻斯特城俱乐部、Manchester United、尤文等球队均顺遂荣升,而金边、法国首都、热刺、国米等球队则要在终极豆蔻梢头轮面临生死战。星期天联赛,Arsenal Football Club大败了和托Turner姆热刺足球俱乐部的北London德比,台北补时读秒幸运绝杀,曼彻斯特联再度获得平局,而曼彻斯特城俱乐部、Chelsea、巴萨、皇家马德里俱乐部等球队则纷纭大胜。好了,话非常的少说,让我们快来看看歪果仁们的美好嘲弄吧!

同伴们大家好,接待来到每一周的“海外也可以有段子手”!下周的北美洲足坛卓越看点成千成万,UEFA Champions League比赛地方,热刺俱乐部战平巴萨成功出线,国米碰到淘汰,密尔沃基取胜和那不勒斯足球俱乐部的出线之战,而曼彻斯特联俱乐部、尤文、皇家马德里足球俱乐部、拜仁奥克兰等球队则纷纭失分。联赛赛管,达曼笑傲双红十字会,阿森纳俱乐部不败趋向遭终结,而曼彻斯特城俱乐部、Chelsea、巴萨、皇家马德里等球队则纷繁获胜。同期,欧洲足球亚军联赛1/8最后一轮比赛抽签也已盖棺定论,比勒陀利亚相遇拜仁慕尼黑,而曼联俱乐部则和法国首都冤冤相报。好了,话非常少说,让我们快来看看歪果仁们的精美嘲谑吧!

本文由欧洲杯竞猜发布于新闻中心,转载请注明出处:国外也有段子手,抽签也有大学问

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